Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Can We Talk

The second lecture of the series discussed communication in marriages.

Now, if you personally know Mike or me you know that we don't seem to be lacking in this area! However, communication is more than merely talking! In fact, it deals much more with listening and responding I'd say!

Did you know that the average married couple spends 27 minutes conversing... a week. Yup, that's what the statistics say. You know, it's sad but true at our house. I don't know if it's exactly 27 minutes a week here, but most of our conversation goes like this. "Honey, will you take out the trash?" "Okay." The end.

I know life is busy. I know children are demanding. I know that we're tired. I know because I've used those very excuses. But friends, have you lost the friend you married? Do you feel like you're co-existing with a stranger? Sometimes, I did. The responsibilities we have are nothing compared to the relationship with our spouse! If you're feeling disconnected, do something now to fix it. Be drastic if you need to. If mommy and daddy don't know each other anymore, how will baby know them? One of my greatest challenges this weekend was dealing with this topic - getting back to the us we started with!

4 Tips for Listening Well
- Give focused attention
- Listen with acceptance and understanding
- Ask clarifying questions
- Focus on what is being said, not the way it's being said

4 Tips for Expressing Yourself Well

- Think before you speak
- Not everything you're feeling needs to be expressed
- Ask to make sure you're being understood
- Speak in a way that encourages

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