Monday, November 16, 2009

We Fight Too

It's true, I know, you're probably shocked. We do fight. Plenty. It's not often and it's not often ugly, but we do!

Did you know that conflict is common in ALL marriages?
Did you know that the goal of marriage isn't to be conflict-free, but to handle conflict correctly WHEN it occurs?
Did you know that healthy conflict resolution occurs when couples are willing to seek and grant forgiveness?

If you've got that all under control, obviously you don't need this section!

Conflict comes whenever our desires aren't fulfilled.

Resolving conflict requires loving confrontation.
- Examine the offense
- Consider your contribution to the offense
- Examine your heart
- Lovingly confront if needed
- Speak the truth in love
- Approach the confrontation carefully - time of day, focus,...
- Choose your words carefully
- Remember, the goal is to restore oneness!

Resolving conflict requires forgiveness.
- The offender needs to seek forgiveness humbly
- The offended needs to grant forgiveness - a choise to set the offender free from the debt of the offense, an attitude of letting go, the first step toward rebuilding trust

We minimize conflict when we actively choose to bless one another in marriage.
- Blessing instead of insult
- Kind attitude
- Focus on God and His Word
- Brings about harmony
- Seeks to bring peace instead of trouble

Have you ever heard that Revolution = Rights but Revival = Responsibility? I hadn't. That little analogy has changed my thinking quite a bit. It's not about my rights. If a revolution happens, what usually follows? Not always much. But a revival - now that is a heart matter! So, apparently my responsibility is much more important than my rights. Interestingly enough that was just something I was learning this week in a ladies' Bible study I'm involved in...

Did you know that if you win an argument you're going to bed with a loser...

Have you ever thought that granting forgiveness is the hardest thing a Christian is called to do?

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